I believe in miracles

To this day I still have nightmares of the time I almost died. I wake up covered in sweat, tears stained onto my cheeks, usually screaming as loud as I can.



I was only 4 when this event occurred, so how the memory is so fresh in my mind still puzzles me. You see, I don't remember much from my childhood, not even when I was a teenager. I guess that's what they call "Selective Memory". Not that I had a particularly bad childhood; it's just that it wasn't ideal. But that's another story.



I am the youngest of three children, I have an older brother and an older sister. At the time of my 'near death experience' they were both at school so they didn't have to go through this ordeal. I was with my mom and dad heading to my grandparents house. The weather was pretty bad this day, that I do remember. We were in a huge van and I could see almost the entire Colorado sky out of the side windows. I was in the back seat holding my puppy, Baby. My dad was driving with my mom riding shotgun.



I'm not exactly sure how it all went down. But I do know that the roads were winding, and very slick from the snow. We didn't have a nice van, mind you. It was a large van, yes, but it only had one row of seats in the back. In front of the seat was a large empty space between me and my parents. The floor was not carpeted or padded in any way. It was a very cold and very slippery metal. On the floor there were about five wine bottles just rolling around.



I can almost remember every feeling I had; all of the fear, confusion, and pain.


Just sitting there in the backseat with my dog Baby; minding my own business, anxious to see my grandparents.



Next thing I know I am off of the seat. I can feel sharp pains all over my body, as I am limply drifting threw the air like an unwanted rag doll. It all happened so fast, I couldn't even comprehend what was happening. Then, everything went black.

I woke up a few minutes after, as I later found out. My entire body was wet and I was freezing and montionless. All I could hear were my mothers screams and my fathers grunts. I tried to lift my head to see what was happening, but I was in so much pain that I couldn't bring myself to move.

Some time had passed before I was able to push myself to my feet. As I stood there in the back of our van, I realized the van was sideways. The wet feeling I had was 5 shattered bottles of wine. Glass was everywhere, including in my arms, legs, and head. I look to my parents for help. My mom had been thrown into the back of the van and she was next to me, holding me now and thanking God I was alright. My dad was still in the driver seat, pinned between the seat and the steering wheel.

Baby had disappeared. Whether she jumped out or got thrown out, we will never know. That was the last time we saw her.

Waiting for the paramedics, for what seemed like a lifetime, my mom and I went to the front of the van to sit with my father.

Once the medics arrived we were promptly, but carefully, removed from the van for evaluation. As we all emerged we were shocked by what we saw. Not only had the van flipped about 50 feet from the road, but we were also stopped by two trees. The shocking part? Behind those two randomly placed trees was a drop that seemed to be approximatly 100 feet.

Right then, we all hugged and I saw my dad cry for the very first time. Some may not believe in miracles, but having survived, I certainly do.

Now, I didn't remember this right away. I never even thought about it until about 6 years ago, when I was 18. I would say I was too traumatized to recall, but hey, I'm not psychologist.

The first night I recalled anything about this day was while I slept. I had a dream, well nightmare rather, about all of these events. Not knowing why I dreamed this, I made sure to talk to my mom the next day. Once I finished telling her my entire recollection of the previous night's horror, she looked at me with unmistakable shock.

She asked me, " Is this the first time you remembered?"

"Remembered? It was a nightmare. What do you mean, remembered?" I asked her questioningly, and then almost immediately regretted asking.

"Well, you never brought it up so we figured we would wait to tell you, but this actually happened."

I was speechless, to say the least. I looked at my mom for so long, she had regret and sorrow in her eyes. I burst into tears and hugged my mom tighter than I ever had.

So you ask me, do I believe in miracles? Of course! I survived a horrid crash, but not only me, all three of us.