I Am

I am followed by heartbreak, followed by pain.

I am followed by shadows with something to gain.

I am chased down by demons, released from their cage,

I am chased down by you, and all of your rage.

I am haunted by memories, haunted by dreams,

I am haunted by a past that’s not what it seems.

My Cover

When moments of sadness poke through the surface and everyone sees it, they don’t know what to think. “You’re always so happy. What happened?”, “You’re not yourself today. What’s wrong?”

Me…Happy?.. If only you knew my heart, my mind, my fears. If only you knew the truth behind the smile. If only you knew the tears that stain my cheeks at night. If only you knew…

“Never judge a book by the cover”.. there is so much truth behind this statement. My cover shows a woman who is smiling, who likes to have fun and make people laugh. My cover shows a woman who is confident in her own skin. My cover shows a woman who is happy. But if you took the time to see past my cover, and truly read my pages, you would see a woman who is terrified.. a woman who is crying on the inside while she’s smiling to stop the tears.. a woman who is self-conscious and lonely.. a woman who is immeasurably heartbroken.. a woman out of sorts.

Poetically Shattered

I am a broken heart just trying to survive. Each morning, after an internal pep talk, I rise and start my day. A smile on my face, laughter in my voice, and joking with my friends.  Yet still, there’s this sadness in my eyes that cannot be masked by this façade. The sadness can be overwhelming at times, while trying to fight the urge to send that text or make that call. The sadness can bring on moments of desperation and poor judgement. The sadness that is all-consuming….

But each day, struggling with the sadness, I continue to have my internal pep talks. I continue to joke with my friends, and smile and laugh, and pretend that my world isn’t figuratively crashing down around me. Pretend that my life isn’t seemingly in shambles. Pretend that my heart isn’t poetically shattered to a million pieces that are now floating aimlessly in my chest. Pretend that I am okay…